Things I am too old for

My 23rd birthday is coming up soon and I´m starting to feel old. There is this one episode of How I Met Your Mother where Ted and Barney discuss things they are too old to do. Some of them were insane while some were actually not that bad. Granted I am not exactly close to retiring, but I still wanted to do a list like that. But these are NOT things everyone at 22 is too old for. They are things I personally am too old for. Trust me, I know people older than me that still do stuff on this list. But I don´t (for the most part) or at least I try not to.

-       chasing someone that I know doesn´t like me back

-       excusing everything my friends/parents do

-       making plans for the sake of having made plans

-       analysing texts like „hey :)“. Face it – there is no hidden meaning here

-       pretending like I care about what is „cool“

-       drinking cheap shitty drinks that are probably spiked

-       going to shabby clubs where everyone is 18 and looking to hook up

-       doing a job without getting paid

-       statement Tshirts (band shirts are a different story)

-       trying to stay friends with everyone from school/that trip/that one party

-       frenemies/toxic relationships

-       not caring about the environment

On the flipside there are some things I personally do not consider myself to be too old for at all:

-       watching Disney movies

-       needing my parents to explain taxes and insurances to me

-       fake tattoos

-       being up at 3am just because

-       waking up still drunk

-       mixing beer, liquor and wine (I regret it the day after every thing, but I don´t seem to learn)

-       staying with my family when I feel shitty. Or my fridge is empty.

-       Cheesy pajamas and socks

-       Roller coasters

I don´t think one should ever really „grow up“ – and I realized how Peter Pan that sounds, but let me cling to my youth a little longer okay?? :D  

What your favourite drink says about you

Here´s something a little less philosophical and a little more fun:

Gin: „I am British as fuck - or at least I think I am. Also I would never dream of putting a slice of lemon in my GT. Everyone knows it´s either cucumber or lime!“ (side note: this is me in a nutshell)

Vodka: „I want to get drunk af and vodka seems to be the obvious choice“

Rum: „I am CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!“

Champagne: If you didn´t guess this one yourself, people who excessively drink champagne mainly do so to show how much money they have, so champagne really just means „Look at me! ´Im rich!“

„Normal“ Cocktails (Mojitos and Co.): „I am as basic as the cocktails I order.“

„Fancy“ Cocktails: „I hate the taste of alcohol so I need shitloads of juices and other sweet stuff to be able to drink it.“

Beer: if it´s a good brand, you probably just like beer, cheap shitty beer means „I´m totally eigtheen and I TOTALLY bought this beer with my real ID.“

White Wine: „I like sitting around and talking about the meaning of life“

Red Wine: „I like sitting around and talking about the meaning of life while knowing that tommorow I´ll suffer a horrendous headache.“, red wine lovers also tend to think they´re artistic as FUCK

Scotch: male version of the basic bitch.

Bourbon: „I think I am better than the basic bitch, but I´m not.“

Tequila: „Let´s get fucking DESTROYED!“

Jägermeister: „...“ (trying not to throw up mostly)

Sambuca: „I love coffee so much, I even need coffee beans in my SHOTS!“

Ouzo: „I got this shot for free at a Greek restaurant and I don´t waste shit so here we go!“ if this is really your FAVOURITE drink you need to take a step back and look at your life, man

Side note: obviously I do not judge people based on their choice of drinks but, well, sometimes you need to have a bit of fun ;)